Love affairs have been failing, and parents feel very happy. People come to me and they say, “Look, in the West love affairs have been failing. Then why are you against marriage?” they ask me. Love affairs are failing because first the marriage was arranged by the astrologer, then it was arranged by the parents, and now it is being arranged by biology, by instinct. You suddenly feel that you like a woman, but you don’t know how long this is going to last and you are not even aware why you like her. You are not even alert to what it is in you that likes her. Maybe it is just her hairstyle. Now, are you going to get married to a hairstyle? You can get married, but tomorrow morning when you see her hair disheveled you will be at a loss: “Is this the same woman I fell in love with?” How long can you be interested in the hairstyle? Soon you will get fed up. The same hairstyle again and again — the whole day, twenty-four hours a day…!
People are falling in love because a certain man has a certain type of nose. People are falling in love with fragments! Nobody is bothered about the totality of the person — and it is a vast thing. The nose does not count for much — after two days you won’t look at it at all. Or the color, or the shape, or the proportion of the body — all these things are very minor. The real thing is the total functioning of the person, and that can be experienced only when you live together.
THE BOOK OF WISDOM