In your life, you can love only when you don’t judge. If you have too many ideas to judge with, you will never love. You will go on imposing your ideas on whomsoever becomes a victim of your so-called love. You will go on imposing your ideas on him.
If you love a woman, you immediately start improving how she should be. And the woman, of course, is a great improves. If you become a victim of a woman’s love, then you are no more. Then she will improve you so much that she will make something else out of you. After a few years you will not be able to recognize who you are. She will cut and prune and do things and paint: “Behave this way” and “Speak this way” and “Talk this way.”
What you call love is more or less reforming the other. And you go on saying that you want to reform the other because you love. This is absolutely untrue. If you love you never reform anybody. Love accepts. Love respects the other as he is.”